what I really mean with that is that I'm finally admitting that today.. I'm really2 tired.. I had a really bad migraine attack yesterday.. the kind which leaves the piercing pain in my brain the day after and where the photophobia lingers and the nauseousness. What made is worse is that I have sorethroat.. cold.. noseblock and feeling feverish more often than not for the past 2 days. Afya's got her voice back.. but I lost mine. Yet still I peel myself off of that sick bed and did some work.. slowly but surely.. ticking off the check list.. one by one.. thankfully, I'm down to the last one and a half urgent ones and now it's already 5 pm and I'm just soooo tired.
This year has been one of the most interesting years I've ever experienced. I've sung for a lot of people, I've found my place at a new school, I'm another 30+ hours closer to finishing my (undergrad) degree, I've met many people, made a couple of really good friends, become an "aunt", grown more into myself. While I can say that this last semester was the most difficult semester I've ever had at school, I can also say I've learned a great deal and that it has set me up well for this coming year.
What to do in 2010? There isn't really a theme for this list, unless it's "becoming closer to the person I want to be"...and aren't all resolution lists like that to a certain degree?
-I will learn how to decorate a cake. This year, I relearnt the art of baking a cake, and while that still needs some practice, I think I can say that I can create a fairly scrumptious cake by now. The next step, it seems, will be to make it look as pretty as it tastes. Nothing fancy--I don't see tiers happening anytime soon--but some scrolling/scalloping/flowers would be neat.
-I will book-cross at least twelve books.
-I will learn how to give myself a proper manicure, complete with nail polish. I usually have my nails filed and shaped, and often buff them, but I still can't seem to paint them without getting the polish all messy.
-I will read three Shakespearean plays. One will be "The Merchant of Venice". The others will be picked up as I go along.
-I will not buy a pair of shoes unless they are comfortable and, excepting walking sneakers, purty/magnificent/gorgeous. Life is too short for torturous or ugly shoes.
-I will put up two quality posts per week on here. Other items may be posted, but not that many people have a strong desire to know my schedule for the day. Sure, such posts help me organize my thoughts and priorities, but I suspect that most people (please correct me if I'm wrong) come here for the customer service posts, with a smattering of those interested in my book posts. Two posts per week seems doable on my school/work schedule.
-This is related to the previous resolution, but it's a little more specific: I will post a bit more often about frugal living, careful saving, and cheap-but-good cooking. I've become more interested in these things over the last year, and while "throw a bunch of stuff in the crockpot" often has tasty results, not everyone knows what foods and what quantities to add. I, for one, need to look up some more recipes to play around with, and perhaps these recipes might help other people. I know that reading other blogs that offer real-life suggestions on this sort of thing has helped me a great deal.
-I will become more of a bookseller and less of a retail drone. I've had several opportunities in the last few weeks to really booksell, rather than just mindlessly fill requests or ring a register. To me, bookselling means actively helping someone discover a great read, and I genuinely love that aspect of my job. One can't booksell to every or even most customers, mind you; most customers want a brain-dead and personality-devoid utilitarian retail drone who would be just as in place bagging groceries at Walmart as she would be in a bookshop. Still, there are some out there who want to meet a real bookseller when they walk into a book store, and I'll do my best to fill that role. It's good for me, because it brings some sorely-needed interest and joy to my job, and I think it's good for a real lover of books to meet a real bookseller once in a while.
-Finally, and most importantly, I will spend more time in a practice room, and the time I spend in there will be sancrosanct. It will be made, and it will be spent in learning and developing and--dare I say it?--enjoying this magical thing called music rather than stressing over deadlines and work and assignments.
I will try to do a post every month or two in which I check in on these resolutions. Should be interesting (to me, at least) to see how well I keep up on them.
ETA: while typing tags for this post, I had what was either an utterly demented or absolutely marvelous idea for a post series. What think you of a monthly "Shoes and Shakespeare" feature in which lovely shoes are paired with a Shakespeare quote? And wouldn't that be a fantastic name for a blog? If I only had time for another blog, I would snap that name up so fast...
This diva will leave for northern Illinois on Tuesday. Thank heavens--and I do--for marvelous friends who are willing to brave airport traffic/provide a spare bed. Likewise, I am very grateful for a store manager who, when told of family illness and correspondingly to-be-missed shifts, simply says, "I'm so sorry. Go, I'll take care of your shifts, and keep me updated if you need to be there longer than you think."
Spoke with Dad today, and he's considered stable. The reported surgery for next week isn't going to happen--some sort of miscommunication between health staff and family members. Still, it will be good to see him; he shouldn't be sitting alone in a hospital. Blogging will be light during this trip (who am I kidding? Blogging has been light for weeks, if not months!) but may occur as the hospital's cafeteria is reported to have free wifi.
Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.
Someone got a good meal.
Went to the country today. We drove to the country town of Gatton about 45 minutes from our home in Brisbane, and had lunch at their new "cultural" centre. Knowing the local "culture" a little bit too well, I was somewhat concerned about what we were going to experience, but I need not have feared at all. It was very well done, and though relatively newly opened, and obvious that there is still work to do on the landscaping etc, it was equal to any other "cultural" center we have experienced within Australia.
Many years ago, back in the early 1970s, a very forwarded thinking gentleman from the local agricualtural college lobbied very, very hard for a lake to be created in a swampy area just outside the town. The local people thought he was a "mad bastard" in the Aussie vernacular, but he kept at it and eventually won the local council over. Now look at it! The birds have such a haven and many of the locals take their daily walks around the lake. The centre was built in 2009 and houses the library, an art gallery that displays local artists and a truck museum. The town of Gatton is the hub of a rich agricultural area "the salad bowl of the Lockey Valley" and so the trucking industry is a major employer for the town.
So, the center not only has a trucking museum, but on a slight rise next to the lake they have created a monument that lists the names of all the local drivers that have died - too many in accidents, but also as part of the cycle of life. Families pay a small amount to have the name of their loved one inscribed.
There is a lovely sandstone carving outside the cultural centre that commenorates the agricultural pioneers of the district.
and next door to the centre is the local historical village :
Not far away, on the other side of the historical village, a terrible murder was committed at the end of the 19th century. Three members of the Murphy family - two sisters and a brother- were murdered on their way home from a local dance. Their murder was never solved and to this day all the locals have theories about who killed them - irish family vendetta: a jilted lover; incestuous relationship; vargrant who diappeared into the night? I guess now, no one will ever know for sure.
Lights on the Hill - song lyrics by Slim Dusty
It's a long straight road and the engine is deep
I can't help thinkin' of a good night's sleep
And the long long roads of my li-ife were a callin' me
These rough old hands are a-glued to the wheel
My eyes full of sand from the way they feel
And the lights comin' over the hi-ill are a-blindin' me
It's a long tough haul from a-way down south
A man's gotta find a little bread for his mouth
And a home for a girl as swee-eet as my honey can be
So it's down through the gears, she's a-startin' to pull
The gauge on the tank is a-showin' they're full
And the lights comin' over the hi-ill are a-blindin' me
There's rain on the road and I can feel the load start a-shiftin'
I-i-in a dance
Too late, I see the post and I haven't got a ghost of a chance
Ah-hah-hah-no
The windscreen wipers are a-beatin' in time
The song they sing is a part of my mind
And I can't believe it's a-really happenin' to me
Oh, but I'm over the edge and down the mountain side
I know they'll tell about the night I died
In the rain when the lights on the hi-ill were a-blindin' me
Hey!
There's rain on the road and I can feel the load start a-shiftin'
I-i-in a dance
Too late, I see the post and I haven't got a ghost of a chance
Ah-hah-hah-no
The windscreen wipers are a-beatin' in time
The song they sing is a part of my mind
And I can't believe it's a-really happenin' to me
Oh, but I'm over the edge and down the mountain side
I know they'll tell about the night I died
In the rain when the lights on the hi-ill were a-blindin' me
In the rain when the lights on t
My father has diabetes, and is in generally poor health aside from that. He fell a couple of weeks ago, and has reported that breathing has hurt somewhat ever since. I call and talk to him usually around once a week, but have talked to him a couple of times a week since he fell. A few days ago, he saw fit to mention that a) he had eaten almost nothing over the last couple of weeks, that b)he hadn't been drinking anything for the last few days, and that oh, by the way, c) he only just noticed a (by the description, pretty ghastly) wound on his foot.
I strongly suggested that he needed to see a doctor.
He decided the next day to go see one, and eventually ended up in the ER. He was admitted for the infected foot, high blood sugar, dehydration...the list goes on. Yesterday evening, he had half of his left foot amputated to try to stop the infection. The surgeon thought he'd probably gotten everything, but that we'd know a lot better in 24-48 hours.
I just heard that the wound is positive for staph, and it seems that they must think it's spreading again. They'll be doing more surgery in the next few days. How much more of the foot and/or leg will be removed is uncertain.
My parents live about a thousand miles away from where I live. As of this moment, I am not going up there. There is nothing--for now--that I can do there that I can't do from here. I'm sure the nurses and doctors are quite competent, and he's getting good care. Obviously, this sort of situation changes quickly, so I may yet be heading north at some point in the near future.
Frankly, folks, I'm scared. Cancel that: I'm terrified. My father could die. I feel very old, very lonely. I'm in that horrible place where I keep thinking "I could have told him to go in sooner" or "I should have listened more carefully" or even "I should have asked him if he's checking his feet", even though I know intellectually that all these things are not my responsibility, that they are his responsibility and, to an extent, the responsibility of those with whom he lives. I can't stop thinking that a world without my father would be a very, very lonely place for this diva, even though we live so far apart. I can't help but think that if he were gone I would have no family I can call and tell about the good or bad stuff that happens to me. Yes, that's selfish...but that's where I am. Dad's someone to whom I can talk about school, about the crazies at work, about the Yankees and the Black Sox and history and a home we both miss and pizza and fish and New England. Don't get me wrong: things have been far from perfect over the years. If this were an ideal situation (I'm not going to go into details, but family dynamics are pretty strange), I would be up there. As it is, I know he knows I love him. A few years ago, I wrote him a letter in which I explained all the reasons I love him, and described all the things that he's done for me that've meant so much, whether it was introducing me to the world of used books or taking me to an ice rink or watching romantic comedies with Louis Armstrong singing away in the background.
I have no regrets. I know he knows how much I love him. For now, I'm calling every day and sometimes twice a day. If they can get this staph infection under control, he'll recover. He'll be in a wheelchair for at least a few months, and, depending on the extent of the eventual amputation, perhaps longer. Best case scenario is a wheelchair for 2-3 months. Worst is...obvious. The outcome can be anywhere in between those two.
If you could keep him in your prayers and thoughts, it would be most appreciated by this diva.
Thanks, all of you, for "listening."
From Fishing!
We ended 2009 with a wonderful fishing trip up past Meeteetse Wyoming. I must admit, I had only been ice fishing one other time in my life, and that was quite some years ago. So, yea...I was a little nervous. My husband assured me all was safe, and of course I trusted him. Still, as I watched him slide the sled full of fishing supplies across the lake, I felt a twinge of apprehension.
There he was...he hadn't fallen in! Surely I could be brave enough. So, the kids & I followed. A little ways out, I heard this MOANING...SLAP sound. OK...I was just about ready to turn around...but Bill hadn't fallen in! So along we trudged. Once out by my dear husband, he informed me that the sound was the water moving & slapping against the ice. OK. I soon was preoccupied with facination as I watched him drill holes in the ice.
What really reassured me was the depth of the ice in those holes.
I love to fish, and I thought these little poles were so cute! So, after 7 holes were drilled, and the poles were all set, we set up for some warmth inside & out...
We cleaned the ice out of the holes...
We patiently waited....
And then...
The excitement was non-stop for awhile! We ended up catching 6 beautiful Cutthroat Trout, and I (no, I'm not really bragging) caught the 3 pound 20 inch one! So exciting! My husband might just be building my confidence, but he told me that he was a little jealous!
So...as we ended 2009, we started 2010. Today we went to a different location, Buffalo Bill Resevoir. Beautiful!
I'm not so nervous to ice fish anymore, and as much as I love fishing, I love to cook up the fish! So, I have a feeling 2010 will be full of fishing expeditions...regardless of the season!
I'm a college student in a field that will in all probability require at least a grad-school degree to provide a steady paycheck, depending, of course, on what I end up doing. Ergo, buying a house/nice car/whatever isn't in my immediate future, and, correspondingly, my credit score isn't something I obsess over. I pay my bills, I have one--yes, ONE--credit card, and I generally leave it at that.
Still, one of the New Year's Resolutions is to keep a better eye on the diva finances. Build up the savings account a little by saving a set amount per week. Create a fund specifically for a trip I'd like to take in the future. Write down what, exactly, I'm spending in certain areas. As part of this effort, I got a credit report from one of the three credit-reporting agencies.
For the record, I wish to state that one's credit report should not have surprises in it. Surprises on credit reports are rarely good.
When I was twelve, my family moved across the country. The state into which we moved developed the idiotic idea that I personally owed said state nearly two grand in taxes...from the year before I even set foot into the dratted state. Incidentally, I was--in case math isn't your strong suit--eleven at the time when I was supposed to have made a sufficient yearly income to owe this state (in which, as I said, I did not even reside at the time) eighteen hundred dollars in income taxes.
They did not see fit to mention this until I filed my first tax return at the age of 16. I was expecting a small refund. You might imagine my dismay when I received an letter from the state income tax officials informing me that my $30 refund would be applied towards the $1800 I "owed" them from several years before.
Irritated, I called and explained to the person who answered the phone that I was 16, I couldn't have owed anyone $1800 five years previously, and that even if I had figured out a way to do so it wouldn't have been them as I hadn't lived in the state at the time, etc, etc. They requested documentation, and I shipped off a letter to the same effect along with a copy of my birth certificate (it has my parents' names and my birthdate on it) and copies of the last utility bills my parents received for the house in the other state.
Two months later, I received a $10 refund check in the mail along with a letter explaining that the situation had been rectified but that $20 was deducted from my refund because of fees associated with correcting the situation. Why on earth I should be responsible for the fees wasn't explained, but I was happy enough to have the situation corrected that $20 seemed well worth it.
Silly diva that I was, I hadn't thought of this situation in years--until yesterday, to be precise.
Apparently, the state tax commission has placed a tax lien on my credit report to the tune of $1800.
I shall call them up on Monday morning and see what can be done over the phone. If that item is not removed from my credit report post-haste, I shall be forced to Get My Irish Up.
That, or import Flamingo Dancer--complete with stick, needless to say--and give her a tour of the midwest, stopping briefly at the tax office of a particular state.
Mr FD and I were discussing whether to watch a particular program on teleivsion when Mr FD said we didn't need to as "I have the VD."
I burst out laughing at his delusion of grandeur.
His reply was "there is no way out of this is there?"
Best laugh I have had all year (you didn't think I was going to miss the opportunity to say that did you really?)
And Mr FD didn't watch the program as he has the DVD.
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